Love: a single word, a wispy thing, a word no bigger or longer than an edge. That's what it is: an edge; a razor. It draws up through the center of your life, cutting everything in two. Before and after. The rest of the world falls away on either side.

-Lauren Oliver

Holding hands may seem like an innocent gesture, but they show more than a simple interlocking of fingers. Your hands are one of the most essential parts of your body: you build with them, feed with them, hold with them, touch with them, fight with them; they are the tools of the human body. To take a hold of another’s hand is to break from living individually. It is to link yourself to another being, to momentarily entwine your life with another’s, to promise, for a moment, that you need not face the world alone. More simple, more aesthetically naive than other forms of affection, i.e kissing, hugging, sexing.., the act of holding hands is often trivialized in its true implications. As the Beatles once said” all I want to do is hold your hand.

I always thought love was enough, yet here I am wanting you more than words can say and you don't want me back...that's all of my love& I see now its not enough.

Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away

Our story has three parts: a beginning, a middle, and an end. And although this is the way all stories unfold, I still can't believe that ours didn't go on forever - Nicholas Sparks.

Q: Theres this peaceful resignation going on all over For Emma. It suggests theres been some time and distance between you and the stories youre telling. Is that the case?

A: In time, yes. But in earnestness and closeness of feel, they are current, or were when I wrote them. They hadnt escaped or dissipated yet until I dealt with them, no matter how long ago they existed. Its kind of like the sores are still open. Just scarred over. So its like me sitting and examining these scars. Trying to rip them off. Discard them. Or at least explain them, so I can be at peace with them.

-Bon Iver interview.

I just hope to always be the girl that gave you butterflies.

I went out with friends, it didn't help. Got drunk, didn't do anything. Woke up again at five thinking it was all pretend

No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.

This week, wow what can I say about this week? I loved someone as much as I could and lost him. I wrote earlier this week of how happy I was and now its the total opposite. I was so full of love and that love was ripped from me, I'm drained and now I have nothing, I have no one. My heart is so broken, I'm so full of pain. I forgot what this emptiness feels like, I lost loneliness and now its my only friend.

Why does it hurt so much to love someone?

The question if I can do this anymore is constantly being asked, not from anyone but myself. If I could open my thoughts and pour them out they would be crying, well screaming for help-more like an answer or just calrity. There has never been a question if I cared never a doubt...I just need validation a little more than some people. That's the real problem.

this...this is what its all about

You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone’s shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn’t get any better than this.

SHOULD I START A COUNTDOWN NOW??? THREE MORE DAYS! I'm so happy he gets back from his trip, I haven't talked to him in what seems like three years I miss his little baby voice and scruffles in my neck. He better miss me and be so excited to see me. To think it has only been a few months of our relationship...I really like this kid.

I'm happy, beyond happy- for the first time in a really long time I have the feeling of complete happiness. I couldn't ask for more I suppose thats why I haven't been keeping up with my posts not that they're anything special, not that they do anything for anyone.

my loves too big for you...

Baby you've got the sort of hands to rip me apart
And baby you've got the sort of face to start this old heart
But your eyes are warning me this early morning
That my love's too big for you my love

It's a funny thing-putting everything on the line and not knowing what you could get back.