It was not your fault, but mine...

I wish I could begin to explain how I feel. At this point it not only seems pointless but impossible as well. It is not only apparent that I miss you its quite obvious. At this point in time there isn't much to do; I suppose there is much to say but I'm going to assume that going that route would not only be foolish, but pointless. Your reaction and response scare me. Okay, that's being modest, they terrify me. Our relationship is slowly fading I can't remember what it feels like to hold your hand. God, what I would do to hold your hand one last time. It saddens me that this is what it has all came down to. Where did we go wrong? Where did I go wrong? Our love now seems non-existent. Like our love was just a mere dream an illusion at best. AND maybe it was. Love isn't supposed to go away and die, right? I always thought that once it was there it was there. But I can tell that it isn't like that and that was just a part of this dream I had. I know I deserve more than this pain, than this feeling of loss, than this feeling of wanting someone who doesn't want me. Because if I'm being frank and I'll be, I want you so bad. Not want you in a way of intimacy but in the most innocent way of wanting someone. I just want to feel the weight of someone laying next to me. Hear the breathe of someone sleeping next to me. I want to be able to wake up in the middle of the night and look at you next to me and just smile. I want you in the most innocent definition of the phrase. But any opportunity for that is gone. Every attempt is either a failure or a let down. I'm sorry for that. I know you tried. But you were right all along. Hanging out is a bad idea. I don't think my heart can handle it. I don't think your heart can handle it. I know I can't handle it. God. What I would give to just hear you say "I miss you". I'm always spilling out my heart. Always. Sorry for all of the wrong I have done. I hope your sorry. I feel that being with me has made you lose all opportunity at living through your twenties. Maybe I robbed you of that and this is your chance of getting it back. I watch other 22 year olds and they're sleeping around, getting drunk, and having fun; maybe the commitment I want is too much for you. Too intense. I've died a thousand times inside. Know this. Believe this. I wish for you every day. every night/

BUT remind me of why we're through

I wonder if you remember me like I remember you And I don't know if this means anything to you But I can't stop thinking of you I know that I said I was over you, But remind me of why why why we're through AND I DON'T KNOW IF THIS MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU but, I can't stop thinking of you...

I'm a firm believer in love, soul mates, and faith. Slowly I find myself losing all hope. Love seems to be a lie. Soul mates don't exist. and faith is slipping from my life. Love will tell us where to go is a lie. Love will only destroy us all; little by little. It'll only cause us to lose our way, our mind, and our sanity. We want to be in love so anything our lover tells us is the truth. Love turns into defending yourself and your relationship. It destroys you. Everything you are and stand for. Love will tell me where to go. Love has told me to hide and never come out.

I give up.

I have to. There's no other choice, but this. I can't wait for someone who will never come. My heart hurts and I'm sad. I really don't want to let go or give up on him or us, but at this point what can I do?

Breathe. Goosfraba.

Happy Birthday Danielle,

Welcome to twenty one.

Can I get just a little but excited? Please!

Swoooon

I'll keep this one to myself.
My god how my heart just smiled.

Hopes & prayers to seeing you tomorrow...

God I need this.

Danielle

Why can't you be the girl with the boy in the end?

I wish I could remember the book...

Or the quote, whichever it was, where truth was explained. Well it was truth in love. So accurate and painfully true.

Truth is scary. Love blinds that.
You're lover says its a lie and you believe it.
You're friend says its true and you believe it.

The truth might come across different to one person. Whose to say honesty isn't a game of telephone.


The truth is a lie. Trust is a lie. Love is a lie.