Chili cookout with Anthony and his family today...I'm super excited. I've never been up to Bethel and I'm not usually around his family like this. I get to meet his dad...it has been two years and I've never met him- I'm nervous. I'm hoping for the best I know I'll get that.

So here's my thing.
I'm going out on a limb to forgive and I hope I'm doing so with the best judgement. Of course, I'm terrified of what is to come or what has yet to come. I just want to be able to give this a full heart shot and I keep holding myself back. Obviously love has played a huge part in this. If I didn't love h I wouldn't have forgave & forgot...well forgive but not forget. It's just hard seeing the girl everyday to be reminded of. I'm terrified of the judgement that this decision can carry. Sticks and stones, right?