No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.

This week, wow what can I say about this week? I loved someone as much as I could and lost him. I wrote earlier this week of how happy I was and now its the total opposite. I was so full of love and that love was ripped from me, I'm drained and now I have nothing, I have no one. My heart is so broken, I'm so full of pain. I forgot what this emptiness feels like, I lost loneliness and now its my only friend.

Why does it hurt so much to love someone?

The question if I can do this anymore is constantly being asked, not from anyone but myself. If I could open my thoughts and pour them out they would be crying, well screaming for help-more like an answer or just calrity. There has never been a question if I cared never a doubt...I just need validation a little more than some people. That's the real problem.

this...this is what its all about

You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone’s shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn’t get any better than this.