I hate that I always and forever bother people with this.
My heart is beyond broken.
My hopes and faith in love and destiny are diminished.
I've always believed that what is meant to be will be and I always felt that myself and Anthony were a picture perfect illustration of that, an illustration of when it works it works and when it doesn't it can still work.
Not that I deserve to be a "booty call", no one does, but that day I kind of didn't mind. I don't know if it was my mind saying "anyway I can have him, I have him", "sleep with him it'll bring him back to you" or "just do it it's been a while." It was something.
My heart was just so happy to be laying with him again and simply being with him. Love in that sense sucks. That butterfly feeling sucks, the moment my heart skips a beat when he messages me or I see him it sucks.
I can only hope that one day everyone finds that person to give them that feeling, I can only pray that one day I find someone who gives me that feeling all over again.
But, like "our" story goes, a lie comes out. Which is how lies work, the truth always will come out, its just a matter of time.
I think I told you about the story of him dating my manager, he denied it as did she, the two of them are disgusting liars. He's seeing her.
Luckily, she leaves this week or next for California for a new job within the company.
I am so beyond disgusted. Disappointed. I don't know how to explain it, really. I never expected for this truth to come out. I just can't wrap my mind or thoughts around the fact that this has happened to me.
I know no one deserves this, but what have I done to him or to life to deserve nothing but bad things to happen? Its honestly a losing game.
With this I can not forgive him. I can not believe that he has done this, I hope that this can be used as a momentum to go forward. He always comes back to me, does that mean anything? I know how you feel about him, but keep in mind that I do love him and my heart is hurt and sore.
-Danielle
